I got married young and got pregnant shortly thereafter. I had to put myself and my interests aside to raise little ones. This became a habit that bled over into my marriage as well. As time went on, things were no longer working well. Neither of us was happy. As the children grew up, we drifted apart. After they moved out, so did I.
After 24 years, I finally started learning how to see past the warped view I had of myself – that I was of lesser importance than the people in my life. With that warped thinking comes a whole host of other problems: lack of self-confidence, a lot of self-doubt, fear of not being good enough.
I’ve been working on changing myself for the last seventeen months: working on regaining my self-confidence, realizing I have more to offer this world than I thought, coming into my own powers. It has been an incredible journey. It’s been more difficult than I thought it would be, but also more satisfying. I’ve faced down more fears and learned more lessons that I thought would be possible in so short a time.
Some of the tangible results are already coming to me. The intangible results?
Those are harder to see. It’s like being with your children every day and marveling at your parents when they visit after a month and can’t get over how much bigger the kids are. When you see those incremental changes day to day, they don’t seem like much. After a month or two, they add up.
For me, they’ve been adding up for seventeen months. Imagine meeting a newborn baby, and then not seeing them again for a year and a half. When you last saw them, they were helpless. Now they are walking, babbling, feeding themselves.
Huge changes can take place in a short period of time. It doesn’t take much, but it does take consistency. The little changes, day by day. The good habits you cultivate. Practicing gratitude daily. Reminding yourself every morning about your good qualities. Reminding yourself every evening that yes, you are good enough. Practicing day in and day out those things you want to improve about yourself.
Soon, you’ll feel your mindset start to shift. Then you’ll feel the shell of fear around you crack, and the daylight will seep through.
Eventually, you’ll start asking yourself what you really want out of life. And when you answer that question, you won’t disregard the answer as impossible. You’ll take it to heart. You’ll start finding ways to make it happen.
All due to the little things you did, every day. The sixty seconds of deep breathing to calm and center yourself. The two minutes to read affirmations. The three minutes of jotting down in your journal the things you’re grateful for. The ten-minute guided meditations about manifesting your dreams.
If you want big changes, focus on the little things. Set those changes in motion. Be consistent.
Watch those little things add up to something big.