Changing your life can be as simple as deciding to do so.
There is a difference between simple and easy. The two do not always go hand-in-hand. It can be easy to make a decision, but harder to implement it. It’s like someone saying, “I’m tired of working a job I can’t stand. I’m ready to find my passion.” That’s a decision, and that’s great.
A decision on its own is not worth much. The person is still working the job they hate. They’re still not looking for their passion. Consequently, they still haven’t found it. They’re still underemployed, and underpaid. They still feel stuck, like their life is in an unending repeat of driving to and from work. They still feel like they’re not using all of their talents, and they begin to realize that they aren’t getting any younger.
At midlife, they’re finally able to stand up and look around. Frequently, their lives do not look like they envisioned they would. They have kids they love, and a job they hate. Maybe the job isn’t ideal, but it’s not that bad. Maybe the job isn’t workable anymore. Maybe their body is beginning to break down a little. So much walking, lifting, and carrying has started to take its toll. They have a spouse, or not. Maybe they have a career that has felt more and more alien to them in recent years, like a pair of shoes that used to fit and be in style but are now too small and hopelessly dated.
They know they need a change. After they’ve spent so much time pushing their wants and needs aside for the sake of their responsibilities, they’ve drifted so far from what they wanted and needed that they’ve forgotten how to listen for that. How do they know what to change to?
Some of us women have faced this challenge, reconnected to ourselves, and learned how to teach others how to do the same. I am one of them. I have dug deep within myself and transitioned from not knowing who I was and what I wanted into a woman who lives every day knowing that she is headed in a direction that aligns with who she is in her core being. In the process I’ve discovered an unshakeable sense of self and an unwavering sense of purpose. I’ve reignited the fires in my belly. I’m moving forward with friends and mentors that understand where I’ve been and support where I’m going.
I can help them figure it out.
I can say that because I have figured it out. I’ve been a young, married mother, then an older mother, then an empty nester. I’ve been married and divorced. I’ve had to define myself in terms of who I actually am, such as authentic and valuing growth, rather than who I am in relation to others, such as being someone’s spouse or parent.
This is so much bigger than it sounds. If I define myself in terms of others, I have a built-in purpose – the other person. When I define myself in terms of myself, I’m building on my own purpose.
I have walked my paths, healed myself and my past, and emerged on the other side as my truest self. I can help others to do the same. I specialize in transitions. It’s time for those who need it to transition from baffled to beautiful, from foggy headed to having foresight, and from hurting to healing.